Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Gay right and straight right

Human has rights, gay or straight. One should not encroach or infringe on the other.

I support human rights, gay included. What other people do with their (sex) life is none of my business, provided that they do not infringe on my right to be left alone.

I went to the university shower room the other day to take a shower. There was another male with me. Suddenly, I felt naked in the spot light - embarrassed and fearful. What if he is gay?

Now I have a problem. I feel anxious every time I need to use the toilet.

The gay should not infringe on my right of privacy and sense of security.


Privacy is the right to control information of oneself. Specifically:

“Physical privacy could be defined as preventing "intrusions into one's physical space or solitude" This would include such concerns as: preventing intimate acts or one's body from being seen by others for the purpose of modesty; apart from being dressed this can be achieved by walls, fences, privacy screens, cathedral glass, partitions between urinals, by being far away from others, on a bed by a bed sheet or a blanket, when changing clothes by a towel, etc.; to what extent these measures also prevent acts being heard varies.” (

I feel that I have the right not to expose my body to gay. That is the reason I use male, not female toilet. I feel embarrassed and insecure in the presence of female, now gay. Perhaps I am thin skin, but like the gay, I am born that way, and should not be apologetic about it.

Just like I feel embarrassed being naked before a female stranger, I feel embarrassed exposing to a feminine – gay male. I do not want female to look at me as a possible sexual partner, worse still sex object for their sexual fantasy.

Just like female who might fear (uncomfortable with) male in private places, I feel insecure because I do not want male - gay to look at me as possible a sex object - target. While I do not think that every gay is a sexual assailant, but they have the potential to be. I cannot tell. Thus, if I have a choice, I do not want to be alone in a room, especially when no one around, with a possible sexual predator.

I have three kinds of objections with a gay in the shower:

(1) I do not want to be raped. (This of course raise the issue of whether male – gay sexual criminal should be bar from using public toilet.)

(2) I do not want to be sexually harassed (“You have a good body.” ) or propositioned. (“Do you want to have a one stool stand?”)

(3) I do not want to labor under sexually fear and anxiety. More simply, I want to enjoy my shower, singing my song. (I am mindful this raise free speech issue of a more serious kind!)

In both instances, I am only comfortable exposing myself to fellow straights. Is this too much to ask?

The problem is that I have no way of telling, especially from male-gay. So now I am always embarrassed and forever fearful. Toilet now becomes a place of anxiety. (This reminds me of soldiers in Iraq. They do not know who is the enemy or civilian. They must be one guard 24/7.)

But what about public beaches, especially those naked ones in Spain? In such cases, we have a choice not to go to public naked beach to protect your privacy. In such cases, the public beach offer protection against sexual attacks.


Gays – male and female – should have their own toilets/shower rooms.

If we cannot have separate toilet or shower facilities, we can at least order gay sexual predator to stay away from using public toilets and showers.

Alternatively, we should have uni-sex, integrated male, female and gay toilets/showers, to be consistent with our principle that there is nothing to be embarrassed about or fearful of the opposite sex.

The nation/people - gay and straight - need to make up their mind on how to achieve unoffensive sexual equality.

What do you think?


I feel uncomfortable, perhaps even guilty, for bringing such an issue up, in making gay the object of embarrassment and fear, after all they are normal people.

Then I suddenly realize that is what sexual politics (in the US) is all about. Making other people feel bad because of their own sexual orientation, straight or gay.

A word to the gay and straight, when exercising your rights, please be mindful of rights of others. Sexual sensitivity and tolerance is what gay/straight want. Sexual sensitivity and tolerance is what gay/straight should practice.

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